Why Writing Your Feelings Helps You to Move On
Relationship breakdowns are never easy – there’s no two ways about it. Whether it be an ex-best friend, a former colleague, or a previous lover, saying good-bye and parting ways can turn even the best of us into mobile monsters.
Look, we know how incredibly exhilarating it is hitting send on that savage text message at 3am, after a few too many tequila shots on a girls’ night out. However, more often than not, that feeling of empowerment is quick to fade come morning, likely replaced by copious amounts of #regret.
Honesty is the best policy and expressing your emotions is an essential part of the bounce-back process. Studies have actually shown that one of the most effective ways to heal is through writing your feelings - but only when this is done for your benefit, and yours alone!
We sat down with our very own Blushing Confetti psychologist, Kathryn Smith, to get the lowdown on why you absolutely should confess your feelings for an ex anonymously – check out what she had to say:
You’ll stop ruminating, and start radiating.
Have you ever had one of those moments where you’re totally carried away in conversation with a friend, bitching about the guy who screwed you over or ranting about your friend who totally stabbed you in the back? Then all of a sudden, you stopped yourself mid-sentence, because it was all starting to sound super familiar…and you realise you’ve probably talked to this friend about them three times already, not to mention the other mates you caught up with this week?
If they’re a good friend, they’ll indulge your whinging because they know you’re upset…but only for so long! Holding on to negative emotions affects your mood, casting a dark shadow over everything you see and do. Let the sunshine back in by putting pen to paper and getting these feelings off your chest.
Your health will improve all-round.
Keeping negative feelings bottled up affects your wellbeing in so many ways. If you’re feeling stressed and sad, you’ll likely struggle getting to sleep and staying asleep. A stressed and tired BC babe will likely be less productive at work, unpleasant to be around…to be honest, it’s just not a good time for anyone.
Whether you need to write it down once, twice, or a hundred times, getting those feelings off your chest will do you a world of good, improving your physical and mental health tenfold.
If you do feel that these feelings are really impacting your life, try seeking out professional support from a psychologist who can help you move forward once and for all.
You’ll look at things with fresh perspective.
It’s SO important to process your emotions and understand why exactly you’re angry – otherwise you’ll never understand or accept your feelings and move on. Looking at breakups from a new angle can help us change our perspective and understand why this might have happened. Who knows, it might have actually been for good reason!
You can actually move on!
Just because a friend turned out to be not-so-great, or an ex-boyfriend was a total dick, doesn’t mean everybody else will hurt you! Writing your feelings will help you to process what has happened, and while you won’t be sending that letter and you may not receive a response, that’s totally fine – the act of writing the letter is therapeutic in itself.
Help your fellow Blushing babes out – what are your tips for coming out on top of a break-up? Let us know in the comments below.
Got something to get off your chest? We've created a lil' hub of sorts for those things you wish you got to say in person to THAT ex, called #BlushingConfessions! Check out the confessions already on the wall and submit yours for the chance to have it turned into a card - you can do all this riiiight HERE.